This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
