I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
