At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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