It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
