he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Randomize
