Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
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