Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
