I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
