i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
