In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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