You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
