New invention idea: vibrating tampons
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
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