out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
