pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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