Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
