Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
The power of my boobs compel you
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
