i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
