I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
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