During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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