somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
