Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Randomize
