Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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