If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
