I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
