Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
my liver is dry heaving
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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