so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
