Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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