i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
