I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
