C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
