So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
