i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Randomize
