I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
