the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I need to calm my uterus...
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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