two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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