Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
