I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
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