garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
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