you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
We need to rekindle our bromance
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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