I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
last night I used snow as a chaser
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
