She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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