You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
