Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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