Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
