Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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