i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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