I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I need to align my fucking chakras
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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