were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
