It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
