why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Randomize
