The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
