dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I'm bleeding and have questions
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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